Admire
by Tri17
Summary: SakuXNaruXHina Hinata has always admired Naruto, from the academy and up. Now, even in death will she admire him? Even though he is the reason she is dying?


Very angsty up ahead! Slight humor (I suppose...) Tragedy, Romance, and Angst all mixed in with a SakuXNaruXHina oneshot!

_"Ghostly Hinata"_

* * *

**Admire**

by Tri17

I felt the cool breeze blow on my exposed skin, giving me a chill. But right at this very moment, I didn't care. I was in too much pain.

Physically, mentally, emotionally. All types.

I was rejected. Rejected hard. And... it hurt.

My Naruto-kun... The person I had admired for so long, who I had strived to be like, who I had changed so much about myself so he'd notice me, and nothing worked.

Instead, he went for her. Sakura.

I wanted to hate her because of that. Sakura didn't love Naruto-kun, not like I did. She just needed a companion for the rest of her life. I knew she loved Naruto-kun... but mostly as a best friend. I knew she still loved Sasuke.

But Naruto thought different. He never noticed me. Not even when I was in front of him, protecting him from an enemy that could have killed him, not even when I said his name, not even when I mumbled that I loved him.

Not even when I saw my blood pouring out of the gaping wound in my chest, seeing my life fade away. He didn't notice me.

He noticed her. Haruno, Sakura.

Yes, she was the most powerful kunoichi in Konoha, second to the Hokage. Yes, she was beautiful, much more than I. Yes, Naruto had always loved her. And yes, they belonged together.

But I didn't want that. Even though I was the exact opposite from her.

Yes, I was weak, only a chuunin. Yes, she's a lot better looking than I. Yes, Naruto never noticed me. And yes, we shouldn't be together.

But I wanted to be together with him from the very depths of my soul and heart.

He wouldn't be happy, not with her. She loved Sasuke...

And Sasuke had yet to be found. Nothing about him.

So, here I was, laying on the forest ground bleeding and thinking about... well... trivial things. I should be thinking about how to close my wound, how to survive, how to get back to Konoha. I had the scroll that the mission needed.

But yet... I didn't know if I wanted to go back.

Who would miss me? Kiba was with some ninja girl now. We never saw each other. Shino was too busy doing ANBU missions to remember me, his weak genin teammate.

My clan despised me. The one person I somewhat got along with was Neji, and that's just because he saw what I was going through, and how I hated the clan and what it had done to him. I guess I also got along with Tenten, since she was dating Neji. She probably was my closest friend.

Other than those two, I had no one. My clan would probably be ecstatic that I'd died, making Hanabi the next clan leader.

Kurenai had to take care of her baby, so she didn't really talk to me anymore.

And everyone else just didn't know I existed.

Which brings me back to my first point. Did I want to die?

Get away from the pain and suffering?

_Yes._

Not have to worry about the clan and being strong?

_Yes._

Not have to see how Naruto's life turns out?

_Yes._

Not being able to see Naruto again?

_**No.**_

I guess I want to see him again. I still love him. And I have the scroll for our village.

But does it matter? Am I so unnoticed that my own team doesn't realize that I'm missing? Am I so quiet that Naruto doesn't realize that I saved his life?

Why? Why me? Why couldn't I have a happy ending.

I knew the answer to everything, though. I wanted to die. I, Hyuuga Hinata, wanted to die.

At least then I'd be remembered.

Hmm... I think the sun is beginning to set. It was mid afternoon when I was injured. Shouldn't I die soon? Get away from this rejection? Get away from this world?

-sigh- Why is life so cruel to me?

"Naruto...kun..." Oh Kami, why did I say his name? Out of everything I mutter with the last of my strength, I say his name. He's the reason I'm dying!

Whatever... I'm just going to close my lavender eyes and die.

"Hinata!" What? Can't someone see I'm dying? I really did want to die in peace.

I mean, if someone saves me, then I'm either going to be miserable for the rest of my life, or commit suicide. Am I that depressed? I guess I am.

But anyways, who's voice was that? Maybe it was death, calling out to me. Here I am death, take me please!

Nope, instead I'm being shook awake. I don't want to open my eyes though. Everything hurts too much!

"S-stop..." I mumbled out. I want to die, but people won't let me. Why not?!

Wait, maybe they want the scroll! Ah-ha!

Well, maybe if I give it to them, they'll leave.

Okay, reach back, find pouch, unsnap button, grip scroll, pull scroll out, put arm beside body. Done.

And... I'm waiting... Why aren't they taking the scroll? Maybe it was the wrong one! Dang!

Well, I got to this again. Reach back, find pouch, unsnap button, grip another scroll, pull scroll out, put arm beside body. Done.

Yet, they aren't taking it! Come on! Don't make me do this again!

"Hinata, please stop moving. I can't bandage you up if do." I know that voice. It's... Sakura's! Wait... no...she didn't come on this mission... No, wait... she did. Ah, I give up!

Hey, I'm beginning to feel lighter... and it's getting darker! Finally, I'm dying!

"Hinata! Come on! Hinata! You got to make it through! Be strong, Hinata!" Be strong? When have I ever been strong? And why does it matter if I'm strong? I don't want to be strong, anyways. If I'm strong, I'll live.

I want to be... with Naruto...

Naruto-kun.

I wonder what he is doing right now? Maybe if I open my eyes and see him... I can die with ease.

"Her eyes, she's opening them! You're doing it Sakura-chan!" No! No! No! **No!**

This is why I want to die. Because of him and her! He's so... No! I won't see him.

I don't want to see him. His loving gaze on the pink haired kunoichi. I can't see that... it'll hurt worse than this wound... No...

Maybe I can die quicker if I think about them... I can die in pain and agony. Emotional pain, mental pain, and physical pain.

They'll get married. And... on their wedding night... oh... I can't think anymore on that subject! But... they'll have kids... probably three. And Naruto will become the sixth Hokage, Sakura becoming the top medical ninja, their children becoming so very powerful, the best shinobis in the world...

And they'll be happy. So very happy. Naruto-kun will love his wonderful wife who will be super mom. Naruto will become the greatest Hokage ever, Sakura greatest medic ninja. Then they'll die of old age.

Why does this perfect lifestyle bring tears to my eyes?

Oh, I know... Because it was what I had always wanted (excluding the medical ninja part).

"Something is wrong! Her heart... It's stopping... Her chakra is stopping... and her mind... something is wrong with her mind... She... is thinking something..."

"Sakura-chan... She's crying."

"Hinata... what are you thinking?" Sakura whispered to me.

"Y-your life..." I whispered.

"M-my life?" I could feel it. My soul was beginning to be pulled out, this was my final moment.

"T-tell... Naruto-kun... that... I... lo-love..." I had to finish this sentence. This is my final moment, and I would not die yet! "Him..." My mouth closed, and I felt drops of water hit my face. Tears it felt like.

"Hinata... Tell him yourself... Live... Tell him yourself..." Sakura whispered. Tell him myself? Is that what she just said?

She didn't just say that...

I'm upset now. Tell him that I love him! And live in pain and misery!

"N-no..." Those were my last words as I felt the rest of my soul get collected by Death... I'm dead now, I suppose.

Dead...I guess I'm not that great of an admirer. Naruto never would have given up... Oh well. I can't be with him now... Everything is lost...

But one thing... Maybe I can be admired for one thing. I gave my life for his... I protected his life...

Maybe I will be remembered. I guess I'll never know.

Hyuuga, Hinata is dead. I'm dead. I, the shy wallflower, am dead.

At least I died somewhat honorably.

In a mission for my comrade.

In a mission, giving up my life, for the person I have loved for so very long... A lot longer than Sakura. I'll always love Naruto-kun. I'll always be his admirer. I always will admire him. He deserves it.

_**I don't.**_

* * *

Sakura looked at the Hyuuga heiress. 

She had done all she could. But Hinata's will had won out. Hinata could have lived, but her will to not live had won out.

"S-sakura-chan?" Naruto peered over Sakura's shoulder at the dead girl.

"Naruto, you bloody fool!" Sakura began to cry. "Why? Why didn't you ever notice her? Why did you notice me? Why couldn't you have noticed her?"

"What do you mean, Sakura-chan?"

"I mean... Oh Naruto! I don't deserve you! Hinata does!"

"W-what?" Sakura began to tremble, as tears poured down her cheeks.

"I think we need to talk." Sakura looked up at him, regret in her eyes. "I... still love Sasuke-kun... I've never gotten over him, and probably never will..."

"That's alright, Sakura-chan! I mean..."

"No Naruto it isn't. If... Sasuke-kun came back... I wouldn't choose between you two... I-if... Sasuke-kun asked me to leave you...a-and be with him... I would... w-without hesitation... say... y-yes..."

"You... would leave me... for him?" Sakura nodded.

"I... don't love you like she did... I love you... as a best friend... Nothing... m-more..."

"A... Best friend?" Naruto began to feel tears trickle down his cheek.

"And... I... can't be with you anymore... Not... I've ruined her life..." Sakura choked on a sob. "She... loves you, Hinata did. But... you loved me... You..." Sakura couldn't continue on.

"Sakura..." Sakura took a deep breath.

"She... protected you from an enemy ninja... She... A ninja was going to attack you as we retreated... Hinata protected you, and was abandoned..." Sakura took deep breaths of air to continue talking. "She had the scroll, but put the mission and her life on the line for yours... Naruto she has loved you since the academy! I can't compare to what she did for you."

"Hinata... loved me?"

"Y-yes."

"And you didn't..."

"That's... r-right..."

"I need to go... I'll take Hinata back." Naruto scooped up the dead Hyuuga and began the trek back to the village.

* * *

The next few weeks were awful for the blonde haired ninja. The Hyuuga clan scorned him, the love of his life told him the truth about their relationship, and he was the reason Hinata died. Naruto couldn't do anything anymore.

His happy mood had gone away. He was so depressed. Sakura didn't do anything to help. Every time Naruto saw her, he felt undeniable hate. So much fury and rage.

She played him! She was the reason he didn't notice Hinata! She was the reason Hinata was dead.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Naruto went to Hinata's grave and began to pray.

"Hinata-chan... I'm so sorry... I was so... oblivious... I realize you were always there... Always cheering me on. I always thought you were weird... you were so quiet and shy but... in reality... you were the person I should have been with. But... I went for someone who didn't even love me or did half the things you did... Please forgive me."

_"I do, Naruto-kun... I'll always love you..."_ A ghostly Hinata appeared in front of him.

"Hinata-chan?" Naruto looked up with wet streaks done his cheeks.

_"Naruto-kun... I'm sorry... But would you please do me a favor?"_

"Anything!"

_"Would you come here everyday? I might not be able to talk to you, but I can still... see what you say... Please?"_

"Yes, Hinata-chan!"

_"Thank you. And Naruto-kun?"_

"Yes?"

_"Please stop being so depressed... It makes me sad..."_ The Hinata ghost disappeared, leaving Naruto to his thoughts.

Everyday, Naruto went to her grave. Sometimes Hinata would talk to him, other times he could just feel her watching him.

And he loved it. To know he had his own guardian angel, someone that loved him and would always watch after him.

Even as Hokage he visited her. He never got married, and seemed to have fell in love with Hinata. He never got over the girl.

Even after death, Hinata admired Naruto. She loved him with all her heart, and had told him so many times. He had said the same to her.

They were in love, and wanted so badly to be together.

But one thing that separated them.

_**Death.**_

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Was it okay? Hope so! Go HinataXNaruto! 


End file.
